So occasionally I make a fool of myself in public, and the FCC wants me off the air, and every fundamentalist group in this country hates my guts, and, yeah, most of the things I do are misunderstood.She stuck with me through the whole thing, you know? You gotta respect that. What would it be like to have sex with her? It would be amazing. I'll do whatever you say if you just make that come true. Jesus Christ, who I love so much, more than anything in the whole world, I am begging you, nd a hit man to the United States of America to kill Pig Vomit finally. Yes, because he looks like a pig, and he makes you want to vomit. I was in the program director's office.And they said if I do really well, they're gonna syndicate my program all over the country. Afternoon drive, the most powerful radio station in their chain, $150,000 a year. I got a job offer today from WNBC in New York. I am Officer Howie, and there's a new law in town.I am the hero of the lesbian community, am I not, Robin?.It was then that I made a startling discovery.Lesbians equal ratings.So this is your old pal Hopalong Howie saying I quit. And maybe it's 'cause I went to college, and I never drove a truck and had sex with my daddy's sister, but.I guess what I'm trying to say is, I.I don't think I'm the man for this job. I know a lot of you out there really love this music, but I just don't get it. Uh, I know I shouldn't be interrupting in the middle of a song, but I got to tell you something. Eugene is my pen name 'cause I wrote this while I was in the pen. The White Man, by Eugene Mama Look-a boo boo day. Tell me, uh, what's going on in the traffic? First, a political statement, if I may. Pleasure to make your acquaintance this morning, Mama.
This is Mama Look-a boo boo day, the only black traffic reporter in the Detroit area, I'm proud to say. We have a traffic copter now here at Mama, you there? Hello? Mama? Uh. My name is Howard Stern, and welcome to the new morning show.